Sick

It's been a while since I've talked about my journey. I apologize I have been quite ill. After some more training sessions like that of spoke of in my previous entry, well, I threw up every time. Ying Ma would hit me every time I did it too. She smushed my face in my own sick sometimes . Chai Su was the man we were training on. He also hit me sometimes too. I had a fever on the third day. I still had to train. Ying Ma would also force me to eat these pills. When my fever wouldn't go down on the fourth day, she and Chai Su threw me in a box full of cold water. It felt like a sharp blade going through my body. I remember screaming and screaming and thrashing to get out, but Chai Su and Ying Ma kept holding me down. I was so tired that I just sunk in and fell asleep. I woke up warm. I was wrapped around a blanket and sleeping against Ying Ma. As I slowly wake, Ying Ma took her hand and stroked my hair away from my face. I looked up and she smiled, "Now aren't you feeling better sweety?" Looking at her while she gently held me, my heart was filled with this feeling I haven't felt in a long while. It was like I wanted her like I wanted this moment forever with her. It felt so safe, felt so warm. I wonder if she felt the same.

Private

"What you doing?" Ching Wu screeched as she jumped up from the floor.
The man stood facing us with his lower half of his body exposed. I never seen anyone naked before. Especially not a man. I was .....shocked... confused. I wasn't sure how to feel. The rest of the girls and I huddled together. I didn't know where to look. What should I do? What am i suppose to do?
Ying Ma started to speak to Ching Wu. "Well honey, you seem soooo excited! Why don't you start first" She grabbed the honey bottle off the table, opened to top of the bottle and squeezed the honey onto the man's privates. "I'm sure you're hungry"
What was she saying? I didn't understand. What is going on? Why is she pouring honey on him? Is she suggesting we eat him? bite him?
"Stop that! What are you doing? STOP" Ching Wu screamed.
"Get over here girl" said the man.
Shaking her head Ching Wu said "No." Ying Ma walked over and grabbed her by her neck and pulled her toward the man. "Let GO of me? What you doing?" Ying Ma forced her in front of the man.
"On your knees girl" said the man
"no" Ching Wu whispered
"I said on your KNEES" He grabbed her hair and forced her to the ground.
"Suck it off" Ching Wu stared at him, confused and frustrated.
"No"
"Girl aren't you hungry? It's nice and sweet"
"No"
He slapped her hard. Her whole body flung to the ground. He proceeded to kick and stomp her several times. He got on his knees and grabbed her face, squeezing her cheeks bone together pushing her lips apart.
"No one was asking" He slammed her head onto the floor. Ching Wu groaned and rolled over. I saw her face blood was spattered all over her. Ah Wei screamed. I was frozen. What do I do?

"Get up" grunted Ying Ma. The man was standing now, hands at his hip. "GET UP" yelled Ying Ma. Ching Wu curled up and cried. The man kicked her again "SHE SAID GET UP" Ching Wu yelled in pain. She slowly got up on her knees facing the man. He smirked and said " Go ahead now, taste it." He suddenly looked at me and winked. "Don't worry honey, you're going to be next."